Here's me diagnosing myself with mental illnesses for about a minute, more or less. Anxiety? Check✅! Social anxiety? Check✅! Selective mutism as a result of social anxiety? Check✅!!! Possibly depression. Probably body image issues and some sort of eating disorder that started very recently. Maybe ADHD (I watched a video about a person with ADHD recently, and I could relate to a lot of the symptoms they had). There was another one but I forgot. I also have self esteem problems, according to my therapist, which, kind of surprised me, not gonna lie, since I'm a person pretty confident in myself (in my thoughts, that is, so I guess she has a point), though up till recenly, I used to call myself an idiot in my thoughts, until I noticed how harmful it was (since I'm very self aware, which is one of my best traits) a few months ago and stopped calling myself that. Instead now when I do something idiotic, I call myself a "genius" sarcastically, which I think is less harmful? Because if I call myself an idiot, than it's basically a self fulfilling prophecy. And I did learn to love myself by the help of my book (which I hope will come out soon, by the way), so I think that's a lot of progress in pretty little time. I'm proud of myself.
Fear - a poem
So, this is a poem I wrote on 9.8.23 (a day after CORPE's birthday! Happy birthday CORPSE🥳🥳!!!). Fear Fear, It keeps drumming in your ear, Just don't shed a single tear, So they don't see, So they don't hear, It takes control over your life, Don't do this, No don't do that, It's much harder than I thought, Oh, for how long have I fought, Over on a losing team, There's no fog, No there's just steam, Oh the fear, It won't die down, It just sits there with it's crown, On it's thron on top a hill, It's just waiting for it's kill, Though for how long will I fear, Oh the timeline isn't clear.
Comments
Post a Comment