I just watched Cinema Therapy's video (Cinema Therapy is a YouTube channel) about Captain America and was reminded of how much I'm alike him. We have the same values and same goal, but I still don't really like him as a character. I do, but don't, but don't, but do, but do, but don't. I mean I do...but don't, but do, ARRGH!!! This is so annoying!!! I have conflicted feelings about him, okay? Like I do about almost everything. It's hard being bigender, okay? I have conflicted feelings about almost everything because the girl part of me and guy part of me are always in a constant war because it's like squeezing too opposite people into one. That's basically what it's like. So, back on topic... I have the same wish as he does, and like him I don't enjoy violence, but if I have to get violent to protect myself and the people I love, then I will get violent. I'm a lot like him because of everything I've been through. I may not be a soldier, but I do know the struggles of having a someone in my family be one. My dad works with the army, so I kind of have a clue what it's like. Whenever there's a war going on in my country and my dad goes to fight in the army, I pray that he'll come back how alive. It terrifies me. That's why I am agaist violence and wars. I don't want to lose my dad or for anybody else out there to lose their relative. Because it's painful. I know since my dad lost his best friend at war. Which again, is kind of similar to Captain America, only his best friend wasn't actually dead. I never met my dad's best friend since he died before I was born. Ten days before I was born, to be exact. What a roller coaster of emotions that most have been. Losing your best friend that having your first daughter born ten days later. Anyways. I still remember crying at his memorial when I was five because of the sad music that was played. It hurt. And I still to this day can't even say his name without starting to cry, even though I've never met him in my life. I wish people were as empathetic as I am. It would make the world a better place.
Fear - a poem
So, this is a poem I wrote on 9.8.23 (a day after CORPE's birthday! Happy birthday CORPSE🥳🥳!!!). Fear Fear, It keeps drumming in your ear, Just don't shed a single tear, So they don't see, So they don't hear, It takes control over your life, Don't do this, No don't do that, It's much harder than I thought, Oh, for how long have I fought, Over on a losing team, There's no fog, No there's just steam, Oh the fear, It won't die down, It just sits there with it's crown, On it's thron on top a hill, It's just waiting for it's kill, Though for how long will I fear, Oh the timeline isn't clear.
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